Photostory: World Bipolar Day is a reminder of how far I have come on my road to recovery

Esenam Drah is a person with Bipolar Disorder who was diagnosed nine years ago. While the journey has not been a walk in the park, she says it has been “the finest nine years of my life".

When she looks back at the challenges she has overcome - from stigma, manic episodes, depressive episodes, suicidal ideations, weight gain as a result of side effects from medications and fearing that she would never be happy and healthy again - Ese wishes to tell her younger self that having lived experience with bipolar disorder is neither a choice nor a death sentence.

“I wish I could tell her that even though you feel weaker every day, you’re getting stronger.”

I wish I could tell her, “Ese, your lived experience is going to challenge stigma and discrimination all over the world through your YouTube channel (Mental Health Quarters)”, she stated.

On days when depression felt like a heavy, dark cloud over her head, Ese is grateful to God for surrounding her with family, friends, and mental health professionals who even though could not see that dark cloud empathised with her and reminded her that she would recover and go back to the things she loved doing.

After days or weeks of manic episodes, Ese used to live with extreme guilt with flashbacks of the damage she may have caused to herself and others. From spending all the money in her bank account to hurting her loved ones with words or deeds, she says “I have come to learn to forgive myself and not beat myself about. I have learnt to be accountable, if I need to apologise, I do it and move on. It has not always been easy but it has been worth it.”

“I celebrate myself every day, I pray, I practice self-care and I seek to encourage others on their mental health journey because I know that if I am thriving so can they”, she noted.

For Ese, the first step towards making great strides on her road to recovery was acceptance. Accepting that she was going to be compliant with her medications, therapy, self-care, exercise, etc, has helped a great deal.

She believes that acceptance does not mean defeat, but rather means being honest with one’s self and doing everything possible to take care of your mental health.